The Value of Mindfulness for Postpartum Couples

Postpartum can be a complicated time in new parents’ lives. Immediately and in the months after childbirth, women are facing pain and new challenges, while both parents are feeling stress, exhaustion and fatigue, burnout, helplessness, and so much more. This may cause unknown amounts of strain on a couple’s relationship – potentially leading to challenges in the bedroom.

Mindfulness is a practice often taught in therapeutic settings to help patients bring awareness to sensations without judgement which may include anxiety or stress. This allows them to accept the sensations as they are rather than letting them control a situation. Stressful situations could be anything from calling someone on the phone, to public speaking, to sexual experiences.

Previous research has shown mindfulness is a helpful tool for managing sexual distress and dysfunction, as well as emotion regulation. The key here is with emotion regulation. Anxiety and depression can be harmful to individuals’ sexual well-being, sometimes creating a disconnect between genital response and sexual sensations.

Between 2019 and 2021, a large study relating to couples’ relationships as they transitioned into parenthood was conducted. However, a recent study showed just a small sample of these initial couples, pulled from data at the three-months postpartum mark. Historically, three months postpartum is the all-time high for relationship distress.

In total, 161 couples are included, all between 18-47 years old, all mixed gender and sexuality (resembling “traditional” heterosexual couples). Their responses to surveys revolving around female and male sexual function, sexual distress and satisfaction, and mindfulness were compared with the goal to see if each person could help themselves and their partner reduce sexual distress through mindfulness.

Is Mindfulness Helpful as Management Tool?

The results of these surveys revealed that men and women as first-time parents in a couple have different needs when it comes to practicing mindfulness for sexual satisfaction. Both men and women experienced higher levels of sexual satisfaction because of their prescribed mindfulness practices, however, the reasons for this may be different.

For men, researchers believe this may be because the mindfulness practices helped improve their sexual function. Essentially, when men focused on the way they felt in their bodies during sexual activity, they were less likely to experience erectile dysfunction or other erection-related issues. This may not work for new mothers, as their bodies have just gone through a lot of changes that can cause sexual dysfunction and pain.

For women, researchers believe the nonjudgmental aspect of mindfulness may have helped reduce sexual distress that may come alongside postpartum experiences. This may mean that with the knowledge that everybody is different and not judging oneself for one’s body functioning differently than it did before childbirth, women were able to reduce the amount of sexual distress experienced during sexual activity.

While researchers were hoping their findings would be in-line with previous research, unfortunately, it appears that in postpartum couples, mindfulness from one partner doesn’t necessarily rub off on the other partner.

Key Points

• Mindfulness is a skill that therapists teach their patients to help with anxiety, distress, and sexual difficulties.
• Postpartum is a difficult time for all parents, with first-time parents often experiencing more sexual distress and relationship difficulties.
• Mindfulness appears to work differently in postpartum men, versus postpartum women.
  • Men may find the sensational aspect of mindfulness helpful for improving sexual function.
  • Women may find the nonjudgmental aspect of mindfulness helpful for improving sexual distress.
• Unfortunately, mindfulness likely only works exclusively for the individual partner, rather than “rubbing off” on the other as well.
• If you are experiencing sexual distress or relationship strain as a postpartum parent or couple, it may be beneficial to seek help from a licensed sexual health therapist.

Resources

Saavedra, S. M., & Tavares, I. M. (2025). Mindfulness and sexual satisfaction in postpartum couples: The mediating role of sexual function and sexual distress. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 22(11), 1937–1945. https://doi.org/10.1093/jsxmed/qdaf234